The moment I found out I was pregnant, both times, my heart nearly exploded with the budding and growth of new love. I had prayed for each child and my heart bore the spirit of thankfulness to God, my father, who chose to bestow this wonderful burden of life upon me; no matter how long I got to carry my baby inside, or no matter how long I get to witness their life here on earth, my love for them will infinitely grow and multiply as I hold, hug, listen to their chatter, and Lord willing, someday, listen to their heartfelt dreams and heart aching questions.
My love as a mother will never be filled, I will always long to be able to comfort every boo-boo, my heart will ache as I witness them hurt themselves, be it emotionally or physically. I will long to prevent their pain, but I pray I will have the grace to watch them grow, allowing God to mold them and simply be there to love them through it.
My prayer now is that I may be an example of Christ's love, that as I seek to guide and train them around pain and, I'm sure, at times, through it, that they will see Christ's love and His patience toward our waivering ways in my feeble efforts of leading them towards Him.
Some days I'm sure my heart will anxiously speed its beating as I pray and will them to walk only a path of joy but as a mother, I will ever remain beside them, feeling their sorrows and their joys. I read a quote that said "The moment you become a mother is the moment you watch your heart walk outside your own body" and I truly feel that. For now I just witness my heart aching as I bandage scraped knees, my heart fluttering with joy as I watch the morning giggle of sister hugs; but someday, I know my heart will ache over bigger issues, then cry with joy over achievements and dreams come true.
Being a mom has brought on a whole new world of feelings and I look forward, with some trepidation, but, trust in God's plan, over what the lifetime of a mother will hold.
I have witnessed my own mother go through joys and heartache as a mother. I am sure I have put her through a bit of both. I am eternally thankful for her and blessed to learn from her, and, as I have joined the mommy-club I appreciate her more and more. I am blessed in an extra special way, as my parents chose God's way of family planning; allowing Him to bless at will, so I now get to learn side by side as we both discover new ways of training and loving our babies and toddlers.
This life I live is certainly blessed, may Gods grace continue to grow within, allowing my heart to bear the joys as well as sorrows of mother-hood and may He guide my hands and heart as I desire to train my children in His way, the way they should go, that when they are old they will not depart from it.
How's that for a rambling post?
Hold your babies close, for someday you'll have to begin to let go so that they can learn to spread their wings, maybe fall a few times, but if you step back and let them go, I'm sure they will soon learn to fly. In the mean time, I will cherish my time and keep them close through this season we're in.
~Haley
A picture of the changes motherhood has held. My pregnancies, the girls at birth, and as they are now 💜💗
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