Adoniram Willis - Birth Story

The most notable part of Adoniram’s birth story is that he’s a BOY! Throughout the entire pregnancy I believed I was carrying a girl. We, of course, knew there was a 50/50 chance but I was so sure, I have referred to him as ‘her’ or ‘she’ the entire time, Ramona was just as certain and would pray every night for ‘Margaret June’, so upon his arrival at 9:54, Wednesday June 19th, 2024 I was shocked to hear Wesley say “it’s a boy”. I’m not at all disappointed, someday, Lord willing, we can have our Margaret June, but for now we are pleased as can be to snuggle, love on, and bond with our third baby boy: Adoniram Willis. 

His birth story sort of begins on Tuesday the 18th. That would have been my preferred delivery date; 06/18/24, a cool mathy date. I woke up having several solid productive contractions. As the day went on I kept comparing them to past experiences; definitely real contractions but no feeling of progress and no consistency, eventually I noted it officially as prodromal labor and put it out of mind as much as possible and just carried on with life hoping that I would go to bed that night and wake up at some point having turned the corner to true labor. That time never came. By morning I accepted I had more time to wait and began my day. Throughout Wednesday morning I noticed if I sat I had nothing remotely reminiscent of labor, but as soon as I stood I’d have at least one contraction that made me think ‘no, I don’t want to do this again’ it felt like labor was imminent and all I wanted to do was sit down so it would stop. 

I was supposed to go into the office for a midwife appointment and ultrasound at 4 to check on the placenta and baby and make sure waiting for labor past the 42 week mark was still safe. I debated all morning and into the afternoon about what I should do: get up and move and turn these contractions into labor, or sit and ride it out, if it’s truly labor then I don’t believe I have to work for it, it’ll happen wether I try or not. 

Finally I decided to call the midwives and cancel, no matter what, I believed labor was coming, I’ve had enough babies to know that the contractions I was having were going to become labor sooner or later and a trip to the office wasn’t going to be necessary, slowly but surely this baby was beginning his exit. 

Shay checked in with me and recommended the Miles Circuit if I wanted to try to move things along. I decided to give it a go. I completed the circuit about 6PM and knew immediately that it had made a difference in the contractions productivity. 

I helped Wesley fix dinner and contemplated what to do. It still didn’t feel like labor, I had too much control over my contractions; if I were up moving around I knew it was labor, as soon as I sat they’d spread out and lose power, even stopping completely. 

After dinner, I walked in circles around the house having contractions on top of contractions. Wesley kept watching me, his eyes begging me to call the midwife. ‘But what if I sit down and it stalls? What if I go to bed and they go away completely?’

Finally I talked myself into making the call. I think the first words out of my mouth to Barb, one of my midwives, were “it’s probably too early but I know everyone is worried I won’t call in time, so I’m calling.” After I got off the phone I complained to Wesley that I hadn’t even had a contraction for at least fifteen minutes, I was probably having them come and would end up taking Tylenol PM, sleeping through the night, and just take castor oil in the morning to actually go into labor. 

8:00PM came with a strong hard contraction, I checked my watch, ‘would the midwife make it in time?’ another 15 minutes or so with no contraction, ‘ugh, I’ve called too soon’.

8:15 Barb and an assistant arrived. I recommended just setting up upstairs, I wanted a cervical check to confirm any possible progress that would help indicate labor and delivery being imminent. Barb said I was 7 but a stretchy 7, I could be complete in 2 minutes or 2 hours. Well, that was encouraging. I now knew that the slow lazy way I’d been laboring was effective and moving things forward so I had no motivation to try harder. The baby, however, was pretty posterior so I decided to take couple contractions on my knees leaning forward to the ground to help the baby move out of the pelvis and turn. I had a contraction or two leaning forward over my birth ball. Time to check the baby’s heart tones again, and just with those few contractions he had rolled forward, not perfectly lined up, but much better. 

I decided to stay upstairs and labor, continually debating if I wanted to stand and move around and progress more quickly or sit myself down and pretend I could quit. I felt this labor like none other. Usually I look forward to, love, and embrace my labors, but with every real contraction I had I just wanted to shake my head, say no, and call it quits; but, when you’re at home, 41 weeks 6 days pregnant and in active labor, there is no “calling it quits”. 

I took contraction after contraction, relax my jaw, lower my shoulders, shake my head back and forth, moan, cling to Wesley, hum - Great is Thy Faithfulness, the Doxology. 

My mom let me know she was going to tell Jennifer to come, I was glad, my mom thought the time was getting close, it was nice to not be the one making that decision. 

A break, how is this even labor? I could do this for hours. A contraction, crying out to the Lord through whispered fragmented prayers ‘oh Lord my God, be my strength, give me Your power’. 

A lull, was I even making progress? 

This went on and on, for maybe ten minutes that felt like an eternity to me. Telling myself I was never going to have the baby, telling myself it was coming too soon, wondering if it was coming at all, knowing it was right around the corner. 

I had a contraction sitting on my birth ball and felt kind of pushy but I was sure it was too soon to push. I let the midwives know. “I think I could push if I stood, but I don’t know if I want to.” They suggested the birth stool, okay, I’ll just take a contraction standing and see. I’m not sure anyone went to get the birth stool from the car. I think when I stood for that contraction everyone knew the end was coming. A few contractions standing, not feeling like pushing disappointed me. I had had the kids called upstairs and everyone was gathered in the hallway right outside my door, watching and waiting. I felt a little like a watched pot but I told myself ‘this is labor, this is what I want them to witness’ I let go of my anxiety over ‘calling too soon’ and relaxed in to the end of it. 

Pressure. 

Pushy. 

A wave of contraction “I can’t do it, I can’t, Wesley” wanting to curl up, hide, and remove myself from it all knowing completely and wholeheartedly that meant I was in transition and the baby would arrive in moments. 

Contraction. Was I pushing? It was all involuntary. I kept moving Wesley’s hands to my hips, lower, pushing them together, tilting my pelvis, reaching for my mom - hold on to me, hold my belly up. I don’t think I said words, instincts just take over. My water broke, I felt the baby descending but he felt too big, this was going to take too much effort. Relax and relief as a contraction faded, followed immediately by another one, involuntary pushing, a head, a body, gushing water, Wesley saying “it’s a boy!”. 

Adoniram Willis was earthside. 

Everything was perfect. Complete. 

“Haley, you’re bleeding pretty aggressively, can I give you a shot?” 

Wesley’s ‘yes’, my consent as I felt a wave of weakness. They wanted me to move to the bed but I couldn’t even lift my leg, exhaustion took over. I was moved to bed, the kids sent down to finish their movie, clean up and care for me and Adoniram began. 

In the end my bleeding persisted and a low dose of cytotec was the recommended treatment. I tried drinking my pregnancy tea, massaging my uterus, and had a placenta smoothie but my uterus didn’t care, it thought it should be done working so I resigned myself to what we knew would work, again. And again I hope that someday my body will keep working on its own, that someday I won’t need help to stop my bleeding; but the likelihood of that seems slim as I look around me at my 7 babies born in 9.25 years; whenever I choose bigger gaps, maybe I could have a more responsive uterus, but so far I haven’t decided the trade off would be worth it. 

Adoniram Willis Smith was born at 9:54 PM, on Wednesday June 19th, 2024; he weighed exactly 9 pounds, is 20.5 inches long, with a head circumference of 14.5.