Friday, January 9, 2015

Reflections and Anticipations

Around the end of 2014 I thought about putting together a post covering my year and all the blessings therein but I never got around to it. I put it off thinking I’d just write a post in the first few days of 2015 and cover both the past year and what we look forward to in the new year. Well, that didn’t happen either. I guess it still technically is the beginning of the year, January 9th isn’t really all that late in the spectrum of three hundred and sixty-five days.

So now I thought I’d roll it all into one mid January post. Reflections on the past year and anticipations on the one we’re in.

A lot happened in my life last year - I have had so many incredible blessings take place in the last twelve months.

I married my best friend and fiancé Wesley Smith and we started on our adventure together and a grand adventure it is proving to be. April fifth will forever be a favorite day of mine <3

To start our adventure off Wesley took me on a surprise honeymoon which involved my first experiences with flying, cruise ships, all around the clock all you can eat buffets, room service, Mexico, and caring for sick spouses ;)

We came home to our first home together and I started the life I’d trained years for; stay at home wifehood. I was lazy sometimes but nailed it other times. I was over ambitious some days and lazy most. But I’ve done okay and still have a happy husband and with my renewed desire to overcome laziness am much happier with myself as well.

I was blessed with one of the deepest desires of my heart and feelings of one of the most amazing and purest joy as I watched the positive sign appear on a pregnancy test. I got to share that joy at three AM on a Sunday morning with Wesley and excitedly praise God together for our first child with which we will share our adventures.

The pregnancy (as more deeply described in my previous post) has not been only what I imagined but much more. It has been harder than I anticipated yet exceedingly more thrilling and breathtaking as well. Daily I am overwhelmed with a mother’s joy and love as I feel my little one pushing against a sundry of organs, ribs, and the like. I cradle my unborn bundle of joy and pray over it knowing all too soon I will miss this feeling as it is replaced by new senses when our baby arrives in this world.

Through my marriage I’ve been blessed by claiming the Smith Family truly as mine. I have so many incredible siblings now. My family life with the Huffman’s is much more peaceful and loving as well now that I’m married and out of the house ;P I have received a very unexpected blessing in the form of a mommy who is now one of my very best friends. Some readers will understand why that comes as a surprise; to you others, let’s just say I wasn’t the easiest daughter to raise..

In spite of the depression during pregnancy this year has still held the most balanced version of me. I don’t know whether I can say marriage was my fix, or the change in hormones through pregnancy, or what combination it is but I do know that out of the recent years this has been my least depression controlled one. Anyone who has dealt with depression, self-harm, suicidal tendencies personally or have close relationships with people who do/have you will understand what a relief and blessing this truly is.

Something I’m still grasping is adulthood. I got married this year, turned twenty this year, began motherhood this year yet still lump myself in with the highschool/teenage group in my mind. I have (I think) grown up a little though. I am comfortable going to pay bills myself, shop, hang out with the librarian who is an adult, so, that’s something. I still struggle with answering phone calls or returning them but… I’ll get there eventually.

Among our adventures this year we took a trip to St. Louis just because we could. We camped, took in a Cardinals game, visited the City Museum (it is amazing and I highly encourage family’s with kids to go), and walked through more of Forest Park than I ever needed to in order to visit the zoo.
We took an overnight trip to Cincinnati and southern Indiana going to IKEA, Bass Pro, and a gathering at a family friends place.

In early August I joined my family on a trip to Michigan where we went to a Bible Conference then spent a few days at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. It was my first stay away from Wesley and I missed him a lot but it was good to get away at that point in my pregnancy.

Mid-August saw the Smith Family’s to Holden Beach, NC and I was ecstatic to finally get to join them on their traditional vacation. We had a wonderful, relaxing, and fun week followed up with my first visit to Grandma Kathryn’s home in the mountains of North Carolina.

In mid-October we went to Ohio for a siblings wedding and my first penetrating trip into Ohio. And let me tell you, North Eastern Ohio in the fall has got to be one of the most beautiful places I’ve been. I got to see lots of lovely country, farms, and Grandma Smith’s home.

Thanksgiving Wesley and I spent at my parent’s home where all my siblings gathered. It was a wonderful time full of food, family, rejoicing together in our many blessings, and simply being together.

Christmas Wesley and I spent with his family and enjoyed a very relaxed day of food, poker, and naps.

So in an overall reflection of the year 2014 I’ll sum it up with I got married and gained over 50 pounds and if I were to make a resolution for this new year it would be to lose at least 40 of those 50 pounds ;) :P Just kidding… sort of.

Looking forward to 2015 I trust that it too will be year of new and wonderful adventures filled with innumerable blessings.

Wesley and I have just purchased our first house and hopefully within this year I will be able to paint, decorate, and turn it into the home I envision.

Sometime in early March we anticipate the birth of our first child which is sure to add to the excitement of our life and create a sleep deprived me which may be interesting :P

Wesley is signed up for a few 5k’s throughout the year and is probably planning to add to those as the year progresses.

In 2015 I am planning to once again bake for the Greencastle Farmer’s Market but come sleep-deprived-March-me we’ll see where my resolve is ;)

I don’t have any major “resolutions” for the new year. I just plan to live every day striving to do all in a way that glorifies my Father in heaven and enjoy each moment He gives me. I am longing to immerse myself in the joys of motherhood and continue improving on my journey in wifehood. I hope to grow in both and become more and more the finished work of a divine Creators hands.

So how was the last year for you? What are you most looking forward to in 2015?

I realize that this post is very random and poorly put together but as I try and retry writing it I am having trouble focusing and decided as to postponing it until it’s completely irrelevant to simply leave it as it is and publish it.


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