Ramona Elouise; The Birth Story

Ramona Elouise Smith has arrived!

Her pregnancy was one of my easiest; I struggled very little with morning sickness, I never had any of my passing out spells, my SPD wasn’t nearly as bad as with the last two pregnancies (maybe a boy pregnancy problem?), I didn’t go to sleep fighting off Alice In Wonderland Syndrome, an aura related to migraines that I’d had the last two pregnancies (again, maybe a boy thing?),  and as I neared 40 weeks, passed it by, and kept passing day after day, I continued to stay patient and tell people I still wasn’t miserable enough anyways. 

I had enjoyed this pregnancy and I was so looking forward to having a perfect home birth, the first in our forever home, the first with my forever favorite midwife and friend, Shay. Everything was going to be perfect. 

I hoped for a girl. 

I prayed for labor and delivery to be smooth and in God’s time. 

Sunday afternoon Shay met for a quick appointment and the baby was so so low, engaged, and I hoped ready soon. 

Monday at 1:42 AM I awoke seconds before my water broke. I reached over and woke Wesley saying “my water just broke” as I rolled out of bed. It was honestly odd, like I awoke knowing it was about to happen. I rushed to the bathroom, the water was all clear, I was good to put on depends and wait for labor to begin. I did the math of labor in my head, water broke at 1:42, active labor by 4, baby by 8 or 9 if it’s easy... please be easy. 

I texted my midwives that my waters had broken and I was going to try sleeping until the contractions started. I had a few contractions, I fell asleep, I woke up around 4 having had only a few contractions, I got up at 6 to bounce on my ball and wander around hoping walking would help, why wasn’t labor starting? Morning came, kids got up, Wesley took the day off, our 7th wedding anniversary, ironically the only day I’d said I didn’t want to have the baby. 

Labor never came. I walked, we got a picnic and went to a park, went out for ice cream, tried staying busy, keeping me moving, along with naps to prepare for labor. Shay came to check on the baby a few times. Everything sounded good, we just kept waiting. 

And waiting.

By 10PM I was having decent regular contractions. We got the kids to bed, I thought about staying up and bouncing on my ball to be sure the contractions stuck around and real labor began but I was exhausted from the long day and decided to try and sleep first. For a few hours it was hard because of the contractions but things moved around and eventually I slept, the contractions had stopped. 

I got up at 5, I bounced on my ball, still nothing. 

I had decided that if labor hadn’t started on its own by morning I would take castor oil, if that didn’t work I would begin antibiotics for having my waters ruptured ‘too long’, and begin waiting for real.

I waited for Walmart to open so Wesley could go get castor oil, Shay came to check the baby and do a vaginal exam. Baby was good, I was only dilated to 1, maybe 2 if Shay was generous. It was hard to hear, I was starting from nothing, I was going to have such a long day, if castor oil even worked. 

I took the first dose at 9, about an hour later my trips to the bathroom began. 

NOTE: castor oil itself causes uterine contractions. The violent diarrhea is not what causes the contractions. You could take another laxative and not end up in labor. Think of the diarrhea as a side effect of the induction method instead of the induction method a side effect of the laxative. 

So the trips to the bathroom began, no contractions, not abnormal, castor oil takes longer to affect the uterus. 

By 12 it would be time for the second dose if the first wasn’t doing it. Leading up to 12 I had a few good contractions but not enough to think labor was beginning. I took the second dose. I ate half a grilled cheese sandwich. Before I was done eating I was up crying through a contraction, shuffling to the bathroom, having another contraction before I was done in the bathroom. By 12:30 we decided it was labor, just the beginning, but it was starting. The baby was slightly posterior and not engaged so hoping to avoid back labor I leaned forward on my ball or off the edge of the couch for several contractions. I paced, I summoned Wesley with glances at him and he held me as I groaned or hummed ‘How Great Thou Art’ deeply and swayed through contractions. Shay asked if she weren’t already here would I call the midwives? “Yes, but just to let them know I’m finally in active labor, it’ll probably be awhile before they need to come.”

Around 2:30 I rushed to the bathroom, again, this time I also threw up and had two contractions back to back. While sitting on the toilet waiting for the contraction to pass I cried in prayer Lord, please be merciful to me, I can’t do this all day, I just can’t and I felt guilty crying out for I know women who go through much harder labors than the two hours I had endured. Shay asked if I was ready to move upstairs, currently I was laboring in the living room, getting thoughtful pats and hugs from a concerned Estel, shushing Jerusha’s chattering as I would start a contraction, hoping the girls would be eased into the fact that labor is hard, but not scared away from it. I decided I was ready to head upstairs. I planned to get up there and lay down for a few contractions, hoping to give my body a breather, sleep between them, and be prepared for the next few hours. So far, although the contractions were definitely true labor contractions and continuously building, they were causing very little cervical pressure. I’ve always taken a long time to dilate, I always want to push before I’m ready, and I always have a cervical lip that the midwife has to help stretch or hold as I begin pushing. I had a lot of ground yet to cross, I thought.

Once in our room I sat on the edge of the bed ready to lay down when another contraction came, I stood and leaned against Wesley, I groaned, I cried, I was glad I was wearing depends since my water had broken because for the first time I didn’t make it to the toilet with castor oil affects. After the contraction passed I said “I felt pushy with that one, I can’t feel pushy yet, I have so long to go” it was discouraging. Shay supportively said I may not have as long as I think, she said “you’re doing great Haley, you’re almost there” I knew she was just trying to be encouraging, of course I had hours to go. I needed to go rinse off in the tub and then I wanted to come back and lay down to rest between, even if it slowed labor down. Wesley helped me, he used the shower spray head, I cried for his help as another contraction gripped me. More rinsing. Another contraction. With this one I noticed Shay at the bathroom doorway “you’re really close Haley” again with the false encouragement. 

My mom had arrived, I’d wanted her to bring a sibling to help entertain the kids. “You’re close!” she cheered from the hallway. False.

Still standing in the tub I had another contraction and I felt the baby coming. “It’s crowning” I said “or coming, well something is coming? I don’t know?” I was so confused. I KNEW it couldn’t be the baby yet, I hadn’t had enough time, pressure, or contractions to be fully dilated and pushing, but something was definitely coming.

Shay was there checking and ready to catch, “it’s your waters” she said, okay maybe that made sense “No, it’s hair, there’s the baby”. 

I was already reaching down, instinctively, I knew it was the baby, of course it was. She slid out all in the same contraction. I immediately checked for the cord, not wrapped around her, our first baby to not be wound in the cord. As I did that I looked to see if she were a boy or girl “it’s a girl! We have our Ramona, oh Ramona!” My childlike, giddy, post delivery oxytocin high cheer took over, everything was okay, it was over, I’d had a baby girl, everything was perfect. I sat on the seat built into our tub.

“Haley, you’re bleeding quite a bit, are you okay with me giving you a shot of Pitocin?” from Shay.

“Yes” from Wesley 

“Is it really too much? Can we wait a minute?” From me.

We waited. Ramona latched and began nursing. I stood up to see if the placenta was ready to come, just blood clots, and a steady stream of blood. The cord was done pulsing, we clamped and disconnected Ramona from me. We cleaned me up as well as we could and moved to the bed. Again contractions, trying to push the placenta, more clots, more blood, a shot of pitocin, finally the placenta, trip to the bathroom, more clots, more blood.

By this time the other midwife had arrived. 

Another shot of pitocin. We headed back to bed, I was dizzy, I don’t remember going down the hallway to our room, I was in bed barely conscious. The midwives administered 800mg of cytotec, two pills orally, the rest rectally. 

“I’m still bleeding”

They gave me 200 more, 1000 total, the legal limit at home. 

It was enough, the bleeding slowed.

“Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and chills can be side effects” 

The chills started. “Is it cold? I’m so cold. Do I have hypothermia?” I was shaking so violently. They piled a quilt, down comforter, and heating pad on me, still so cold. Due to all the blood loss they started an IV. Cold water in my veins, I was so cold. 

Finally the shaking had subsided, they say it was only 10 or 15 minutes, I think it was longer.

I nursed Ramona, perfect, beautiful, Ramona Elouise. 

The room calmed, we’d all made it through. The children were brought in to meet their new sibling. I rested, the midwives and my mom cleaned and organized.

Shay began Ramona’s exam. She was perfect.

Born Tuesday, April 6th, 2021 at 3:12 PM. 

Weight: 8lbs 6oz, Length: 22 1/4”

Born in her perfect, healthy time at exactly 42 weeks.

37 1/2 hours with ruptured waters

2 hours and 40 minutes of active labor.

I didn’t have the perfect, 100% natural birth I’d been patiently waiting for. I am a little disappointed in my body, I feel like it failed to do what it was supposed to do, but I’m becoming okay with that. Twice now, I’ve hemorrhaged, I’m high risk for it, next time I’ll take the midwives advice and accept ‘active management’ care and the pitocin shot that will likely come immediately following birth, the second the blood loss looks like it might want to get out of hand.

I am still amazed how fast things went from ‘maybe labor’ to her arrival, God certainly heard my cry for mercy and so graciously granted it. Throughout my labor I had so many friends and family keeping up to date and praying for my specific needs, again, God graciously answered His saints requests on my behalf. I am humbled, honored, and so very blessed to be the recipient of His goodness from their petitions.

And I am ever so grateful to have Shay as my midwife. Midwives are amazing, it is a personal, heartfelt, relationship, full of care leading up to the birth. But my midwife is extra special, she’s also one of my closest friends, she’s practically family, she’s definitely honorary family, and I am beyond excited to think she’ll be by my side for all my future babies.